This morning I woke up with old wounds reopened in my heart and an old narrative swirling in my head.
“You are too fat to wear a sleeveless dress.”
“You’re upper body is squishy and unattractive”
“You’re to bold and sassy with your attitude. Too manly and brash with your language”
“You’re not pretty so stop trying.”
The inner dialogue went on and on. I stared at myself in the mirror and cried. I started punishing myself for every bad food choice, every moment of gluttony and all the crisis eating over the course of the last four decades that brought me to this point. Everything felt hard and hopeless.
Then Jerry said “Hey let’s go for a walk. We will do some hills” not knowing that I was struggling mightily in my mind. I huffed and puffed my way through that workout and it was hard but dang did the Lord speak some truth as I walked.
“You are worthy”
He showed me my strength in finishing the workout. He spoke kindness and beauty through my husbands words when I put on this sundress today. He showed me my worth in that mirror as I looked at my naturally curly hair and naked face. I took the time to take care of myself with my Beautycounter products .
I too many years with my head buried in a half gallon of ice cream punishing myself for my bad choices. Then God intervened through the voices of my husband and my BFF who walked with me through the pain and the shame into the light of freedom of self awareness and an acceptance of my inheritance as a daughter of God. That journey continues to this day. I am worthy of love and so are you. I am beautiful and so are you. I am stronger and braver than I think I am and so are you.
Stop believing the lies my sisters and remember your worth and beauty as HIS beloved daughter. Then go put on that sundress and enjoy the freedom of choosing truth and comfort over lies. Not today Satan. Not today!