It still boggles my mind to see this cover. A real no kidding book, that I wrote. Like ALL the words!
When I started this process back in January, I was terrified. I didn’t want to fail or disappoint the people who believed I could do this.
I struggle with feeling smart enough some days. It’s an old wound from childhood that rears it’s ugly head from time to time. In January that wound was opened once again and I spent six months writing God’s healing into it.
As I wrote about past mistakes, about how God walked alongside me ever so faithfully during times of tremendous trail and deep confusion, all while I desperately tried to figure out how to just survive, that wound became less painful and by the end of the writing process, it felt more like a bruise than a gaping wound.
That’s the healing power of God my friends.
The past is just that my friends. The past. It helps mold us, influences who we become but it does not define us.
What I thought was a punishment from God for past mistakes, turned out to be the greatest gift I’ve ever received. My daughter Courtney and her disabilities changed me.
They challenged me to make a choice everyday, to search for the joy, to let go of control, to accept what was and surrender my life to God’s plan. Not my own.
That’s what this book is all about my friends. It’s not an easy read, especially the first five chapters which are a slow decent into the hell my own arrogance and stubbornness created.
Then comes the moment of clarity and understanding which leads to acceptance and healing, both years in the making.
This book is a deep dive into heart and the lessons I’ve learned over the course of the last twenty-six years. Courtney was the very best teacher a Mom could have. This cover was a signal grace straight from heaven. It reminds me of when the night sky meets the very first moments of the new day. It reminds me of the nights I would pace and pray, begging God to just get us through without another seizure or medical emergency. It reminds me that it’s always darkest before the dawn.
It is a cover of HOPE. I pray it’s a book of HOPE for all who read it. I am so very grateful for the gift
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