I know it’s been a week since I have been here. So very sorry. Sometimes real life get very, very busy and I run out of hours in the day to come and share.
This new life of mine is very full. Some days like today, it feels full to bursting. For example I was up at 6 am, at work by 7 am, meeting at 8 am, set up for Mass at 8:45 am and then Mass and Adoration. By 10:30 I am at the Historic Church prepping for a visitation at 11 am and then the funeral Mass at 1 pm. Internment followed. Back at my office by 3:15 then there was paperwork, putting out a fire or three, prepping for Scout Sunday, BLA commitment weekend and so on. By 5:15 my dogs are barking big time and there are still five phone calls to return before I can consider leaving. At 5:43 I am out the door. Home by 6:30, twelve hours after I left. Then there is dinner prep and putting on my pj’s. Small talk with hubby over dinner and then sofa time watching Blacklist on the DVR.
Next up bed time. So excited for bed time.
Please do not think for one moment I am complaining. Not for a second. I LOVE my job. I love my parish. I love the people I get to help in their darkest moments when everything is confusing and painful. I love the challenge of all the moving parts of the liturgy and how, in the end, it all comes together beautifully to celebrate, honor and glorify Our Lord.
I am challenged every single day. I amazed at the grace that pours forth and covers me and all my faults everyday. I am grateful for the fullness of my day knowing that it is worth something. I am doing something of value. I am honoring my daughter and my God doing what I do best.
Taking care of people.
Yes, life is busy and full. Yes, it feels like I might loose my mind some days with all the details I am required to inhale and exhale without skipping a beat. No, this is not even close to what I had in mind for my life twenty years ago.
But I am happy y’all. So happy.
There is joy after grieving so deeply my friends. There truly is. The grief over my Courtney will come and go as it needs to, it will always be there. My heart will always be broken and that’s OK. I will enter into it as I need to, but in the end, life is for the living.
There is hope. There is joy. There is chocolate.
Hope comes in ALL forms my peeps.
Life is full, full to bursting and it is very, very good.