The hugs received lasted a little longer than usual and that’s OK. It’s funny. With my friends I talk about Courtney al the time. With family it’s a little more difficult. I don’t know why that is it but it just is. I am hopeful that in time it will get easier to do. Time will tell.
I am determined to not dwell on the misery of losing my girl but to see and appreciate what is right in front of me. My family and friends, who still need me in their lives. There is joy to be found in those relationships. Simple, beauty and joy in what remains.
+ for my sister who is going on a mission trip overseas. That she is safe in her travels and that the kids she will be working with will be open to hearing God’s word.
+ for friends who are trying to have another baby. If it be the Lord’s will, that He bless them abundantly.
+ for everyone who has a lost a child. That God comforts them and brings a smile to their face at some point this week.
+ that the weather stays clear for our family photographs this week. SO very tired of rescheduling due to rain.
+ for my son and my husband who are both in the midst of transitions and change. They are not big fans of either. Really NOT big fans.
+ for all the Mama’s of special ones I know and love so much. For strength, wisdom, perseverance and understanding in the vocations of motherhood. You are never alone.
+ for our finances. The budget is tight as we begin to pay down the last four years of Courtney’s medical/daily care debt that has been sitting on credit cards for some time. One month at a time. One day we will be debt free. I know it. One day. Until then, it’s the chicken and pasta diet.
Tonight we are having shepherds pie with left over mashed potatoes and homemade beef filling. It’s going to be quite tasty I think.
* window shopping with my Mama.
* my parish family who has just embraced us in our grief and has been so wlecoming and gracious these last few months.
* four year olds pretending to go after zombies and then take a break and play Barbies
* the magic of age four
* spending time with sisters and sisters-in-laws
* watching the cousins play with each other even though the age spread is 25 to 4. It is a blessing.
* fresh strawberries…prepping for jam making
* marinara on the stove for hours
* garlic bread…just garlic bread
* receiving pen pal letters in the mail
* a bed made with fresh sheets
* fluffy pillows on the couch, surrounding me in comfort
* a great movie shared with friends.