So, guest post here from Jerry, Mary’s husband..also known as Bacon Man, and king of all things pork.
Today is the 26th wedding anniversary for my lamby-pie and me, so I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the AWESOME wisdom I have attained now that I have lived through 25+1 years of married life….thus assuming the status of wise old man…or grumpy old man…or whatever…
First and foremost, my wife is my best friend, snuggle buddy, most awesome tiger mom ever and makes a pretty mean lasagne and chicken fried steak. The last two items are almost as important as the first three. Yes, it’s all about the food even after 26 years. I never thought I would live with a blogger who makes me wait to eat my dinner until the PERFECT lighting is achieved for an awesome new adventuresome dish that I will later type the recipe for so she can share it with the blog-o-verse…yup we are all about teamwork here at Chez Lenaburg. OH, and I am getting pretty good at fashion photography as well…..maybe this could be the start of a new career…blogger flunkie…
Now for the good stuff–What I have learned?
Ok, here we go…Bacon Man’s perspective on marriage:
* Being there for your spouse means making sacrifices and putting the other person’s needs first…even if that need includes watching The Notebook for the hundredth time because it’s soooo romantic. Or when she helps me get through a bad day at work when I wish I had a SMITE button for really, really annoying people. It is not always easy to put someone else’s needs first…SO HARD, but if a marriage is to work, you have to be able to put your spouse first.
* Learning to say “I’m sorry, please forgive me” is the most important and most difficult thing to do. But both people in a marriage need to learn that sometimes, asking for forgiveness is a necessary thing…even if you don’t know what you did wrong (This is mostly true for guys) or even when you don’t think what you did was wrong (again, mostly for guys)…if it’s important to your spouse, it is important. Marriages are relationships, and relationships take work. They are hard and sometimes involve fights. It’s important for couples to learn how to disagree and fight. Goodness knows my honey-bunny and I have over 26 years, but we always make up and eventually laugh about almost all the silly things we fight about. Then there’s always makeup sex (ooops, can I say that on this blog?)
* Ladies, you know the old saying “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? Well, here’s my corollary–Men are NOT from Vulcan. We cannot do a Vulcan mind meld and figure out what you are thinking, feeling, or worrying about. After 26 years, I DO KNOW that women have 89 windows open in their head all day…while guys have…well…probably three…(food, sex. football)..but we don’t…ever…..know what you’re thinking….and we don’t want to know about all 89 windows….SO, please..if we ask “What’s wrong?” and we are one of those oh, so wise and knowing men (like myself) that KNOW how to listen and NOT try and fix things…yes, that super power only took 25 years to master…please talk to us…we will pause the football game and listen…and when you have resolved your crisis without any real help from us beyond a few strategic “Really…they did?” And “I can’t believe they said that!” …we can get back to Navy football….just sayin’
* I will NEVER, EVER understand or be consistent with the whole toilet seat thing…not after 25 years…26 years…or probably 50 years…and hey, women are liberated enough to change the toilet paper roll…nuff said.
* Please, please, could we turn the air conditioning ABOVE meat locker? I know women of a certain age (hi sweetheart!!) need air conditioning, but my goodness, I never thought I would miss flannel in July.
* What is it with those strange “healthy” drinks at the Wegmans? I swear one of them smells and tastes like grass. NO, I am not exaggerating…it looks and smells like grass. And no I don’t think I need to drink one each time I eat bacon.
* Yes, guys like John Wayne movies, explosions, and as much automatic gunfire as possible. Plot is nice but not needed…and romantic interests just distract from the gun fights and usually end up with tragic death….just sayin’
* Ok, a word about flowers….they are my kryptonite….I have a hard time picking out flowers, paying for flowers and then, in a week or so, hauling them to the trash. My frugal minded self just can’t do it. Yeah they’re but seriously, for a bouquet of flowers I could buy several pounds of bacon. Bacon doesn’t make me sneeze. Hopefully other guys will master the whole flower thing…but I probably won’t.
That’s my wisdom. In our 26 years of marriage, we have moved 7 times, deployed through 2 wars, 4 deployments and lots of drama with our Courtney, including somewhere north of 45 hospital visits—you might have read about it somewhere :). But we still make each other laugh, do silly things together, and most importantly, try to find the absurdity and humor in the hot mess of our life.
I can’t imagine life without my Mary Beth…
So, Happy Anniversary Baby..we are officially a wise old couple.
(who loves you more than bacon, and that’s saying something!)