:: noticing God’s glory
It’s been cloudy this morning. I am sitting in the kitchen, phone os speaker, waiting on hold with the insurance company, dreaming of actually talking to a human being instead of a computer. I like getting a real live person to chat with about what paperwork is needed for what doctors appointment or procedure for Miss Courtney. People are helpful (most of the time). Computer prompts make me want to jump from a tall building in a single bound. So incredibly frustrating.
:: listening to
elevator music (on hold) and the washer and dryer(next to the kitchen)
:: clothing myself in
jeans, flats a t-shirt and sweater. I went with a pink and navy color story today. I needed something happy and springlike to wear. Pink reminds me of spring and everything fit so there’s that. There is hope in spring.
:: thinking and thinking
about trusting totally in God’s provision. It’s the hardest thing for me to do, especially when it comes to medical/financial stuff. If you have been a longtime reader you know that about me. I tend to worry about, well, everything. Especially being able to provide what Miss Courtney needs.
We are on our third week without the wheelchair lift. “Big Bertha” is working fine, so I take Courtney in the front seat and we go to therapy using her stroller. I lift her in and out. It’s what we need to do for now. The lift repair is not going to be cheap. We are praying the motor is not burned out. I hope to take it into the lift repair place the first week of April. No way we can afford it before then. Heck, can’t afford it then either, but it will give me time to have a little savings to at least have them look at it and give an estimate.
Exciting times for sure. I spent almost an hour on the phone this morning just making several appointments for my Courtney and now I am in “please hold” hell.
I actually had someone ask me why we do “all of this stuff” for Courtney. She isn’t going to get better. Why waste the money?
My answer is always the same “I am only doing for her what I would want someone to do for me. Just because she is disabled, does she deserve any less than I would do for my able bodied child? There is no waste when you are trying to care for a child in need. My job is to make this world the most accessible it can be for her and to make sure each day is filled with as much love and joy as we can muster. I don’t know when God will call her home, and I don’t want to regret anything. If we lose it all, then she is worth the loss. She is a beautiful, joy filled young lady. This is her life. It has value and purpose, just like yours and mine”.
So I will work on the whole “Don’t worry, be happy” thing. Prayers for me as I do? Thanks friends!