I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. I knew that I needed to go to confession. It had been a few weeks and I had made a few mistakes these past few days that needed rectifying. So off to church I went, while Jonathan took care of feeding Miss Courtney.
I went and unloaded my heart filled with pride and a lack of humility, filled with the sin of gossip and judgment of others, filled with envy and gluttony. There was a torrent that came spilling forward as I emptied myself before God. The priest kindly took it all in, gave brief counsel and gave me absolution.
Ahhh…absolution is a beautiful thing isn’t it?? That moment when you know you are forgiven and God has already forgotten what you did wrong. He poured out His love for me on the cross so that this moment might happen. that I might know His forgiveness and mercy. My heart was bursting with love for my God and my step was lighter as I left.
I got into the car and turned on my Pandora App on my phone. The song “The Only Thing” by Ronnie Freeman came on and I just started to cry. I know, you think I am nuts don’t you. But read these words for just one moment:
WOW! That just pierced my heart straight through and I realized how prideful I am on a daily basis thinking that I have done anything without My God who walks beside me granting me strength and grace to take on each task required of me and helping me see each to its completion. He has sent the Holy Spirit to inspire me so many times when a friend or family member needed wisdom, support or encouragement. Those healing words they thanked me for didn’t come from me but from the Father above. I am just not that good or that smart or that strong.
But HE is always and in everything. When we weep or when we laugh, He is there making all things new and good. There are many things in this life I don not understand bit one thing I do with all of me…God id GOOD ALL the time and provided EVERYTHING we may need now or in the future.
Who am I but the one who HE has asked to do His work here.
It is not me who serves Courtney by feeding, changing and caring for each and every need. It is Jesus through me.
It is not me who irons the church linens, cleans and folds the laundry for my family, prepares the meals or scrubs the floors. It is Jesus who works through me.
The only thing that is good in me is Jesus. I am eternally grateful for HIS love, HIS mercy, HIS grace to meet the challenges of each and every day. Wether I do them perfectly or not, He is still here cheering me on to serve with love and joy. Always…
So serve Him I shall, with imperfection and too much pride and not enough fortitude or piety. I will still take on the challenge of trying to do my best for this day. It is all I have to offer back to Him.
One diaper change at a time. One sneeze filled with spinach at a time. I shall glorify Him who gave me these beautiful souls to serve.
Join me this day will you? In whatever He has asked of you this day, join me in offering it back to Him as an imperfect “perfect” gift.
I think Jesus would like that…don’t you??
What I am grateful for…my blessings:
#1295 ~ #1326
* the women in my life who have inspired me, loved me and corrected me with love all my life
* my husband who gives of himself completely day in and day out
* the prayers of so many who offer them freely in a daily basis for my Courtney
* soft blankets and snuggle time with my daughter
* indoor plumbing
* indoor plumbing that works
* plumbers that come on a Sunday and don’t charge a mortgage payment
* mother’s helpers who love to serve with such joy
* hair long enough to braid
* medical insurance
* naps on a Monday
* fabrics filled with color and pattern
* the ability to sew
* time to create new accessories to beautify my home
* an iron filled with steam
* serving the church through my labor
* my brothers and sisters who circle the wagons when one is in need
* my mother who loves no matter what
* books filled with wonderful characters that take me back in time
* cookbooks that inspire new adventures in the kitchen
* the Mass
* the Saints that surround the throne of God and pray for me and you every single day
* a spring breeze that rustles through the trees
* the sun beating down on my face as I walk each morning
* yoga pants and stretchy sweatshirts that engulf me with love
* friends who email encouragement in the midst of a mini-crisis
* cut flowers given in love
* chocolate cake baked by my son
* dinner served by my two guys
* the love of my children
* the love of my husband
* the love of my God
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