So many times in the last eighteen years I have wept tears of joy and sorrow. There have been many highs and many lows. One day happy, the next day tragic. I have never felt that disparity more than this week.
Tomorrow is Courtney’s first Special Needs Prom. A day I never thought she would get to experience. The dress, the hair, the shoes…so exciting. Happy Snoopy Dance all around!
Now look at today…
Today was a dreary day. My heart was as heavy as the clouds. When they finally opened up and poured down I was reminded of a mother’s tears, sometimes they trickle and sometimes they pour forth like an unstoppable torrent.
This afternoon was the funeral of one of my daughters classmates, Christa. I watched her mother as she sat with her head held high and a sweet smile on her face while the minister talked about her beautiful daughter. I watched as she bowed her head and wept at the mention of Christa’s older brother who died in a tragic accident last fall. Now they are together…forever.
What God has asked of this mother in the last year breaks my heart. The confidence He has in her heart and soul to bear the ultimate sacrifice of two children going back to the Father…I cannot fathom what it takes to get up each day and raise her eyes to the Lord and say “Walk with me Lord, for I cannot do it without you.” And yet she does…one day at a time…and smiles along the way.
I have walked a rocky road with my own daughter and each time I think God is calling her home, something happens and we are given more time with her. There is no rhyme or reason, it’s just God’s plan. I know one day, things won’t turn around and I will be the one to lay my sweet daughter in the arms of her beloved Our Lord. I pray I can do it with the grace that Miss C’s mother has.
As we walked from the church this afternoon the clouds parted and the sun shone thorough with a brightness not seen in days. It reminded me of Courtney’s smile and the dimples of her sweet friend who is now free of pain and healed completely by her loving Father.
Oh how Christa LOVED music. So my sweet girl lets make a deal, while your dancing at the throne of the King, Miss Courtney will be kicking up her wheels here…
Dance baby dance…
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