It’s Lent which means there is much fasting, alms giving and prayer over the next six weeks as we Catholics and Christians prepare for the holiest day of the year…Easter Sunday celebrating the Resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ who came so that we may have eternal life with Him.
Or if your like my husband “to celebrate with ham and other pork products which in the New Testament are no longer considered a forbidden meat.”
As part of this years “fast”, I opted to give up FB and Twitter along with writing in this little corner of cyberspace. I felt called to “be still” and do some soul searching in the midst of this penitential season. I always find it fascinating to see what God thinks of my plans. Sometimes, He agrees and sometimes He laughs so hard clouds come shooting out of His nose!
I have not gone insane because it was proven long ago that I already am, so no worries. He decided to take me on a wee bit of a medical journey in the last ten days just to prove His point that I can’t do a darn thing without Him right by my side.
Yes, I said there was HIGH drama didn’t I? And this bad boy was ALL mine.
I met with my doc this morning to go over ALL the tests from the last week and to determine a course of action. This was after I had a lovely BLT with egg for breakfast that cost me a whopping 18 Weight Watchers points but I don’t care. I will eat veggie soup the rest of the day because the bacon was worth every bite.
Anyhow, apparently I am fat (morbidly obese to be medically correct) and my blood is one big pat of butter. The “hernia” the doc was all excited about?? Turns out it was a dimple in the fat that sits next to my hysterectomy scar.
A dimple…how cute…
not so much…
My ovaries are full of clear cysts (which is normal for me) and my thyroid and hormone panel are spot on for what they should be. Jerry may disagree with that last statement but I don’t care…Bitchy Witchy is my middle name sista!
My mammogram showed something on the left breast (always a problem child) which I refuse to get upset or worried about. I have another mammogram scheduled tomorrow afternoon to see what all the excitements about. Yea me!
Ever need a mammogram tutorial…I am your gal!
She also went on to lecture me about “putting myself first on the list” and “getting your big fat butt to the gym more than twice a week” and my favorite “maybe you need to explore your relationship with food. I think you have some issues to work through”.
Ya think lady! Nothing that a lovely chocolate cupcake with marshmallow fluff butter cream icing can’t fix! Ha!
So needless to say WW is my new friend and I plan of being a size ten in a year. Never tell an Irish woman she can’t do something. She might punch you in the nose and tell you to f***off and yell at the top of her lungs “I shall eat cake AND lose 111 pounds. Just you wait and see you flaming pieces of s***” or something more poetic.
I have no idea…I am half German…it pollutes the waters…
So to my wonderful blog readers…recommendations please:
What are your favorite WW/dieting/veganish recipes?
(I’ll take links, book recommendations, anything that you like)
Thank you for allowing me my weekly rant. I will now go take care of the lovely 18 year old that is currently spewing green shmog from her nose and coughing up a storm. It goes nicely with the 102 degree fever!
Yes, the frogs and locusts have arrived to join the famine that began last weekend…
Your friend Mary whose still laughing while trying to finish writing her book because it burns more calories than crying!
NOW…back to the fasting…
Return to The Catholic Conspiracy