So the week started off with quite the drama and today was the first day that felt normal. Courtney seems to be tolerating the high dose of antibiotics well. She is sitting next to me as I write this with a huge smile on her face. There is NOTHING better in the world than to come through a traumatic event and have everything turn out OK. I know that’s how Stellan’s parents are feeling today as well. His ablation yesterday seems to have been a huge success. Praise God for these positive outcomes!
Jerry was grumbling early yesterday morning over the fact that another “Monday” had rolled around and he was just exhausted after our ER trip. I smiled and said “It’s the best Monday yet because there is a young lady sleeping the other room in her OWN bed. God is so good.” All of a sudden things didn’t look so bad after all. Perspective is a beautiful thing isn’t it?
I have spent the last 48 hours caring for Courtney and praising God for being allowed to bring her home. I had a consult with her neurologist today and he went over all her test results from the ER with me. Things were much more dire for Courtney than we were aware of on Sunday. Her blood pressure was dangerously high and she did not handle the increase in seizure meds well when they were trying to get things under control. I forget sometimes how fragile she really is. Most of the time she seems so strong to me but that is not the case.
Basically her immune system is shot. So she can only handle doing one thing at a time. She either fights the daily onslaught of seizures or she fights an infection and the seizures break through. So when the infection came on so quickly she had nothing to fight it with and the seizures took over. They told us if we had waited 24 more hours to bring her in she would probably be in the ICU in deep trouble. That’s how fast the infection was moving through her. So praise God for that “mommy sense” that said take her in NOW! This information does change some of her daily care as well as how we need to respond in the future to any crisis. However, as in all things, trust is the answer! Jesus I trust in YOU!
So today I took her with me to see our pastor and he anointed her. During our conversation we talked about how every time God allows these crises to occur, Jerry and I learn something new about our daughter and God’s plan for her. We are still processing everything from this weekend but one thing is very clear. God is on control. Our daughter does not belong to us. She belongs to God and we have the joy of being with her and loving her while she is here with us, no matter how long that is. Just when we get comfortable with life and how things are going, God swoops in and our normal is redefined once again. At times I am dazed and overwhelmed with all that has occurred in these past seventeen years with our daughter. I have learned to let go and let God knowing I cannot carry this cross alone. I rely on Him more and more each day for all of my needs, both spiritual and physical. Jesus, Oh how I Trust in YOU!
Blessings and Grace~
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